Video games… Can we talk about video games for a minute? Because I LOVE video games. Right? Like Overwatch, Watch Dogs 2, Watch Dogs Any game with watching in it, really. And you will have to pry this phone from my cold, dead hands before I delete Flappy Bird! OK? Because I am a bird watcher! But I have been seeing a lot of crap lately, Things that make me question, what is a game? If I just downloaded a game on my iPhone, and its number one feature, is that the game plays itself! What! Really? Now if only I could find a sandwich that eats itself too. That is one, great Casinoslots Singapore! And all these games copy other crap games! Developers, I have a great idea! Don’t make garbage.
Just because there’s one popular game Where you tap Twinkies And it makes Twinkies Doesn’t mean that you should make a game to tap Ringdings! Like they’re vomiting pretty colors on the screen Telling me to tap and calling it a game! THAT’S NOT A GAME! OK! And yet it is! There’s a whole genre of these ridiculous CLICKER GAMES coming out. And no one is saying anything to stop them. Well if the entire world is relying on one bald cartoon character to tell them that their games are stupid Well that’s what exactly what I have to do. THEY’RE STUPID! And if you play ’em you’re stupid And I play ’em so I’m stupid And this stupid stupid has to stop being stupid. YOU STUPID! Maybe people just don’t know how they get tricked into playing these games. So I’ll explain it to you right now. This, is the Dumdum’s Guide To Not Playing Games (That Are Not Games) Thing # 1: Best Fiends Forever. Definitely the best example of everything I hate in a… game. You literally just tap the screen endlessly Then little animals get pissy until they disappear. How do they come up with this stuff?
Did somebody go to an aquarium, tap on the glass, and go, “Ohh, this, this I can do forever.” I hate this game ’cause I play it. The only thing that I like is that they’re honest to their marketing. I mean right on their website it says, “Recommend it to someone, you don’t like.” Well it worked, Because I played your game, And now I don’t like myself. I looked up the word game, in the dictionary and it said, “a form of play, decided by skill, strength, or luck.” This does none of those things! And you have people love it! It’s got 4.5 stars on the App Store, And yet it requires you to do nothing. NOTHING!!! I actually read an official review, they call it, “The most gripping game, he’s played all year!” Will someone get this man a yo-yo, he needs a stimulant. Thing # 2: Derpy, cutesy, cartoon characters. I hate to harp on this game, but it’s just doin’ everything that they all do.